My Wheel of Fortune
The Tarot snuck its way into my life several decades ago. It teased my fascination, luring me from mainstream thought, until it enveloped me in a greater respect for the unseen. How could simple cards make any plausible predictions? Shouldn’t this type of divination be left for the gypsies and fortunetellers whose slight-of-hand professes great tales? I had my doubts, for I was settled firmly in structured belief, cemented by logic and a tangible proof-driven society.
However, those silly cards, they tempted my imagination, feeding my belief, expanding possibilities. It seemed every time I would pick up a card, it would perfectly fit a situation, express a feeling or detail an outcome. How could this be? How could those little, colorful cards possibly know anything about spiritual lessons or offer guidance in any way? I wondered; however, I had this strange knack of choosing just the right cards repeatedly. It did not matter what deck I used, the results were always the same. Improbable, I thought. Isn’t this just up to chance, I questioned, a total fluke that I would happen to pick one card over another? So began the great internal debate.
For the longest time, my doubt had this discussion with my imagination. Until one day, while I was quiet in meditation, I realized that there is so much more to my spiritual self. I was meditating on my totem animal guides, a shamanic practice I feel deeply connected to, and Crow, one of my lead totem animals, popped into my mind. On a whim, I randomly flipped over one of my Animal Spirits Knowledge Cards, and a magical picture of Crow surprisingly stared right back at me. It was as if my guides and the universe were collectively saying, “Shana, do you finally believe? How many more times does this need to be confirmed for you?” This spiritual ah-ha moment came at a pivotal time in my life. It was finally time for my imagination to declare victory over my doubt and end this tedious and unsettling trail. Case closed.
This was quite a significant realization for a logic-focused, mainstream woman like me, significant for several different reasons. One might say, “Great, you can now live the life of a seer and dabble in the mystical realms of reality.” However, did I really want to fly away from society on the back of a gypsy’s dream? I will be judged. I will be questioned. I toyed with the idea of professionally sharing my gift with others, but I quickly ushered these ideas into the shadows. My place in society was resolute, and I did not intend to make my claim to fame through any art of divination. Period.
It is curious how destiny calls. Over time, I began to soften and TRUST. I began to dissolve my instilled need to conform to the ideals of the left-brained, linear thinking majority. I began to recognize that it was only I that I ultimately feared- my own critical mind, judgment and disapproval. Did people really care if I could read a Tarot card spread? Would they truly write me off as a fringe mystic? If so, what impact would that honestly make in my life? And, for heaven’s sake, who are all these darn people anyway? Do I even know them?
Once I finally plucked my head out of that restrictive box I built for myself so long ago, I was actually able to see the value in my gift. I now honor it, and I honor myself as I use it. In the beginning of this personal acknowledgement, I gingerly offered Tarot readings to friends and family. This felt safe. Time after time, though, I would be surprised and impressed with the cards, for they were eerily precise. It was not long before I faced my TRUTH and offered this gift as a bona fide service to my global community.
I am grateful I have arrived at a place of admission, acceptance and self-respect, for it has allotted me a new platform to help others. Now, the question that blossoms from my heart is- how can I NOT share my abilities, ALL of them, with those in need? My desire to guide and support others now trumps any doubt or judgment I once had. My life path is paved as I serve others, and the Tarot is yet another modality I can now use to construct the life I was born to live.
The funny thing is… I finally discovered that people actually LOVE the Tarot. Who knew!
“Fate brings success, the unexpected arrival of good fortune.” ~Eden Gray
“The Wheel of Fortune can indicate a vision or realization that strikes with great force. If you’ve been struggling…this card can signal that you can find the answer if you stand back and view everything from a larger perspective.” ~Joan Bunning
“The Wheel of Fortune…symbolizes a new beginning and the completion of an earlier series. The second half of the quest has now begun. The Wheel is a mandala, a symbol of psychic wholeness and inner order….Cast [yourself] free from the bond of society, and [your] sacrifice is rewarded. The symbol of the Wheel brings with it peace of mind, the resolution of guilt, and an affirmation of the fundamental order existing at all levels of the universe.” ~Alfred Douglas